和中国朋友聊多了变得想用中文写部落格。。反正这不是重点。。重点是。。我发现了一样很讽刺的事。。我竟然被他block了。。我不了。。为什么连朋友都不能做。。不是都说好了吗？讽刺的是。。我竟然是从我姐的户口知道的。。我姐也似乎有些事隐瞒着我。。我不知从何说起。。总之。。我的心现在隐隐作痛。。那种我不喜欢的感觉又回来了。。他是不是和我姐有联系。。为什么我姐变得那么神秘。。我以为我们的感情很好。。好到我们有对方的密码。。为什么当我问起。。“不知道他是不是block我了。。似乎好久没看见他在线上。。”她没有回答。。过后。。当我要帮她改机票需要登入她的hotmail 时。。密码已不一样了。。我问起时。。她似乎有点紧张。。甚至骗我说忘记了。。拿了我的电脑。。说可能看着电脑就会记得。。还真地记得了。。登入后。。我偷偷进了她的msn。。发现他在线上。。证明了我们之间的友谊就这样没了。。我不禁发出了声音。。姐应该发现了什么。。急忙跑了过来说她要删除掉一些邮件。。可我发现她根本不知道她在干什么。。反正当我拿回电脑时。。她已经sign out 了。。我很沮丧。。为什么要瞒着我。。也许那只是我的猜测。。可是如果真的有联系是不是应该通知我。。让我知道到底发生了什么事。。
Anyway I shall continue in English..was typing super slow and can't stand it..well..I seriously used to think I am really really really over it..considering I am leading a super awesome life now..and I am going back to Msia like in less than 2 days..come on..he shouldn't come in and interrupt my life anymore..I don't know why the hell I will think about him again..perhaps I didn't see him online anymore and I am feeling a bit weird that's why came out with that question..but hey..is he blaming me for not contacting him anymore?but what else he wants from me?since he knows we can't really talk because we will definitely be figiting when we start talking..I hate this feeling..don't understand why must it end up like that..FINE!is hard to talk normally again after breaking up..but can't we just try to be friend again..a super normal friend..in sense of you are on my MSN list..but we don't talk..okay..I am talking rubbish..whatever..I am having this complicated feelings right now..but is too over to act that way!so childish for what!arrgh!maybe I should just erase him from my memory so I won't have this kind of feelings anymore..but will I be able to do so..frankly speaking..no matter how much I over him..I never want it to end this way..I mean no matter how bad we fight..how terrible we were to each other when we broke up..when the time passed..everything started to calm down..I still care about him as a friend..nothing more..I am sad and I feel like crying not because he already over me..(well..he over me even before we broke up..so who cares..)I am upset because our friendship is officially over..wanting me to delete the memory means I have to delete every single memories during my college life..but my college life is the best time I ever had in my life so far..he is not the best guy I ever met but he is the guy who used to touched my heart..and how can I forget someone like that..
well..since that's what he want..I shall bear with it then..hopefully he is leading a good life now and get in to Monash MBBS next year..God bless him..
off to bed..cheers~
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