just some random stuff..

I was up early today..partly because my dad need to leave the town super early today..So I have to wake super early as well to get ready for him..prepare breakfast for him and also food and drinks for him to eat on the way..and also 1 of the reason I was up so early is because I can't sleep well..I am not sure why..but something kept woke me up middle of the night..I hardly have dreams..but last night I dreamt about I got insulted and being rejected by someone again..I can't really remember who did that to me..but I seriously can feel my heart is aching when I was asleep..this is not good..woke up with a super depressed mood..and I don't know what to do..

anyway..went through the facebook's new feed..and I realiased..people really do change..perhaps that's the real them and I never know till now or maybe they act well infront of me..I don't look down on them but yea..I am disappointed..I can't deny I never change but I have to say I didn't change to the worst..I used to be very rebellious..I oppose my mum all the time..I talked back and I increased my voice whenever I got angry..which is bad...because she is my mum..no matter how wrong she is I shouldn't be like that..but once I leave home I know I shouldn't take everything for granted..like one said..you shout when you are angry is because your heart is far away from the one you are shouting at..anyway..seriously..I never regret to leave home so early..frankly speaking..I chose to leave home because I am sick of the shouting episode..I want to explore the world..I want to know what will happened to me when I am alone..and yea..thanks to my parents..I have the opportunities to go oversea..without them I am nothing today..without them I am still a rebellious kid who everyone hates..without them I can't do anything by myself..so..so what when my parents scolded me over something I really did wrong..so what when they scolded me when they are in bad mood after working the whole day?do my part and don't fight back..sit down and let them vent their anger on you..when they cool down they will come and apologise..isn't that a better way to deal with things..at least they know there is a place call home where their kids are always there for them..If not what is a family for?I don't how other people thinks..but that's is my point of view..I used to complain about my brother and sister who always bully me by asking me to help them with all the stuff..I used to think being the youngest should let everyone to dote on..but come to think of it..I should thanks them as well..because of them I know how to deal with all sort of situation..being independent and strong..and no matter how much things they asked me to do I know deep in their heart they still love me and care for me..that's enough..don't have to say it out..action is more then enough..having a good relationship with siblings isn't an easy task..friends around me always asked how can I have such a good kinship with my sister..how is it possible to stay with your sister in one studio apartment and sleep together on a queen size bed..this is how you do it..be nice to them..don't get annoyed easily communicate with them..they will treat you back the same..when we were small..I never know all this..instead..I always fight back and got beated by my mum for being acting that way..and I always think my mum is bias and no one cares about me..isn't that childish..anyway..I don't how I come to this part but the main point is..even if I change..I won't change to the worst..because I won't want to let my family down..and I know I can't say anything to my friends who changed so much since our thinking are different..

so yea..that is how emo I am early inthe morning..and I seriously hate being emo now..and I should appreciate  everything I have now..anyway..that's it!gona off to work again..

cheers~