25th april 2010

ANZAC DAY!evan's birthday..haha..HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY EVAN!not sure whether he will be seeing or reading this..but well..still hope he is having his best 19th birthday now..

this picture was taken on his 18th birthday celebration..i belanja him haagen daaz..haha..did i spell it wrongly?anyway..this is also part of the sweet memory..hope this year you will have a better birthday celebration..^^

ANYWAY!people!guess what??this is the 1st time i ever feel like shopping!!and yes!i went shopping today when i finally feel better..i went harbour town..and bought a few shirt..surprise surprise surprise???haha..well..maybe shopping can make today past faster..but still..lalalalala...don't really feel good..=(..nevermind!i know will get better..JIA YOU!!!!!haha..

cheerz~~

M4 - Melody for you

 i am dedicating this song to my beloved vonn vonn..for thanking her to cheer me up by introducing me this super sweet song!but yea..too bad..can only imagine because as we know this will never happen in reality..lalalala...enjoy!!^^

I MISS YOU DEAR VONN VONN!!!

《别再说合不合适》

i saw this note from facebook so thought of sharing it with everyone..is true..but how many people in this world will ever understand what love is and how to maintain a relationship?well..till now i still can't figure it out completely since relationship can't be maintain all by myself..it needs 2 person to participate..anyway..enjoy..and hope everyone will somehow understand what this note trying deliver..p/s:sorry for non-chinese readers..i'm kind of lazy to translate..

不管你有没有男朋友，有没有女朋友，都过来把它读完，写

的真是那么回事

你发觉了吗？

爱的感觉，总是在一开始觉得很甜蜜，
总觉得多一个人陪、多一个人帮你分担，
你终於不再孤单了，至少有一个人想著你、
恋著你，不论做什么事情，
只要能一起，就是好的....


...






..... 但是慢慢的，随著彼此的认识愈深，
你开始发现了对方的缺点，
於是问题一个接著一个发生，
你开始烦、累，甚至想要逃避，
有人说爱情就像在捡石头，
总想捡到一个适合自己的，
但是你又如何知道什么时候能够捡到呢？
他/她适合你，那你又适合他/她吗?

其实，爱情就像磨石子一样，
或许刚捡到的时候，你不是那么的满意，
但是记住人是有弹性的，
很多事情是可以改变的，
只要你有心、有勇气，
与其到处去捡未知的石头，
还不如好好的将自己已经拥有的石头磨亮，你开始磨了吗？
很多人以为是因为感情淡了，
所以人才会变得懒惰。
错！
其实是人先被惰性征服，
所以感情才会变淡的。


在某个聚餐的场合，
有人提议多吃点虾对身体好，
这时候有个中年男人忽然说「十年前，当我老婆还是我的女朋友的时候,她说要吃十只虾，我就剥二十只给她！
现在，如果她要我帮她剥虾壳，开玩笑！我连帮她脱衣服都没兴趣了，还剥虾壳咧！」
听到了吗？明白了吗？

难怪越来越多人只想要谈一辈子的恋爱，
却迟迟不肯走入婚姻。
因为，婚姻容易让人变得懒惰。

如果每个人都
懒得讲话、
懒得倾听、
懒得制造惊喜、
懒得温柔体贴，
那么夫妻或是情人之间，
又怎么会不渐行渐远渐无声呢？

*所以请记住：
有活力的爱情，
是需要适度殷勤灌溉的，
谈恋爱，更是不可以偷懒的喔！

有一对情侣，相约下班後去用餐、逛街，
可是女孩因为公司会议而延误了，
当她冒著雨赶到的时候已经迟到了30多分钟，
他的男朋友很不高兴的说：
你每次都这样，现在我甚么心情也没了，
我以後再也不会等你了！
刹那间，女孩终於决堤崩溃了，
她心里在想：或许，他们再也没有未来了

同样的在同一个地点，另一对情侣也面临同样的处境；
女孩赶到的时候也迟到了半个钟头，
他的男朋友说：「我想你一定忙坏了吧！」
接著他为女孩拭去脸上的雨水，并且脱去外套盖在女孩身上，
此刻，女孩流泪了
但是流过她脸颊的泪却是温馨的。

你体会到了吗？
其实爱、恨往往只是在我们的一念之间！
爱不仅要懂得宽容更要及时，
很多事可能只是在於你心境的转变罢了！
懂了吗？
当有个人爱上你，而你也觉得他不错。
那并不代表你会选择他。

我们总说：「我要找一个自己很爱很爱的人，才会谈恋爱。」
但是当对方问你，怎样才算是很爱很爱的时候，
你却无法回答他，因为你自己也不知道。

没错，我们总是以为，我们会找到一个自己很爱很爱的人。
可是後来，当我们猛然回首，我们才会发觉自己曾经多么天真。
假如从来没有开始，你怎么知道自己会不会很爱很爱那个人呢？
其实，很爱很爱的感觉，是要在一起经历了许多事情之後才会发现的。
或许每个人都希望能够找到自己心目中百分之百的伴侣，
但是你有没有想过『在你身边会不会早已经有人默默对你付出很久了，只是你没发觉而已呢？』
所以，还是仔细看看身边的人吧！他或许已经等你很久了

当你爱一个人的时候，爱到八分绝对刚刚好。
所有的期待和希望都只有七八分；剩下两三分用来爱自己。
如果你还继续爱得更多，很可能会给对方沉重的压力，让彼此喘不过气来，
完全丧失了爱情的乐趣。

所以请记住，
喝酒不要超过六分醉，
吃饭不要超过七分饱，
爱一个人不要超过八分

如果你也正在为爱迷惘，或许下面这段话可以给你一些启示：

爱一个人，要了解，也要开解；
要道歉，也要道谢；
要认错，也要改错；
要体贴，也要体谅；
是接受，而不是忍受；
是宽容，而不是纵容；
是支持，而不是支配；
是慰问，而不是质问；
是倾诉，而不是控诉；
是难忘，而不是遗忘；
是彼此交流，而不是凡事交代；
是为对方默默祈求，
而不是向对方诸多要求；
可以浪漫，但不要浪费；

`*不要随便牵手，
`*更不要随便放手

combination of everything..

yesterday..went to chill on with sis and all her friends..chill on is the place where all the furnitures in it are made of ice..even the glass..not very happy because that's the place where we used to say we want to go together..apparently there is no more chance..but anyway..not very worth it though..35 bucks with 1 cup of mocktail and 1 photo..for 30 minutes..and the room not very big..well..heres the photos..ohya..before we went to chill on..we went to this Korean restaurant "flying chicken"..and the photos can be found from my sis's facebook album..hahaha...take a look if you are interested..food there not bad..and the waiter there pretty friendly..

well..that's it..and today..i had a really bad day..went uni early in the morning..i felt sick..i reached uni and i really cant take it..but today got practical and 3 hours tutorials..apparently i skipped everything..luckily my demonstrator and tutor are kind enough to let me off..and saying that is fine..and ask me go back and take a good rest and go back to them again when i feel better..so..i am now at home..feeling miserable..

plus today..I just realised I am actually friending a friend who are real bitch or maybe whore plus backstabber..and she is actually a Dr!!i am so dissapointed..but what to do..how i wish i can stop them from ruining Dr's image and reputation..BITCH!!!!BLOODY WHORE!get out from my life!!!haih..I am tired again..off i go..

cheers~

19th april 2010..

this date supposed to be our 13th months month-iversary..well..i know i shouldn't think about it..but it just came into my mind when i woke up early in the morning..we started to talk again..but apparently i was not treated like the past..i thought we will be able to be like last time..the time when he was my best friend..the friend who still will care about me and not the friend who will only answer any single questions i asked..apparently he didn't feel like talking to me..the thought of we might go back to the past was just another naive thought..and it kind of woke me up when he told me "do you still naively think that the love can last forever?"my heart got smashed again when i saw that sentence..yea..nothing last forever..there is no true love..there is no so called promises..when if you are married..you still can get divorced..that's the world..and now perhaps relationship is just a game for everyone..play it well..if u win then that's your future..if you lose..then too bad..pick up your broken heart and move on..or you can just continue waiting for the guy who will never come back..

and now..i am feeling extremely cold..feeling like an idiot..he is right..there is no fairytale in this world..true love only exist in TV show..cherish all the opportunities you have..if you miss it..too bad..because there might not have 2nd chance..once in a lifetime..that's it..i don't what else can i say to tell him how i truely feel and how to express myself..and i really don't know how to prove i am not lying..i believe to maintain a relationship really need to put in your heart and soul..but what if the 1 you are giving in can't feel anything over what you did to them..what else can i do?step back and move on?isn't that a bit unfair?i am so tired now..maybe i should get myself out of all the social network for the time being..and let nature takes it course..good night...

cheers..

memories...

was packing my bag just now for tomorrow lectures..and kind of clean up my purse..and I found these two Starbucks receipt..and kind of brought back a lot of memories..still remember every time I went Singapore and find him..we will surely have our breakfast in Starbucks..hmm..and also the ring and the neoprint which I don't bear to out from my purse..those are really the best memories for year 2009..which I will never ever forget..hope he is now leading a better life..off to bed now!!good luck for my test tomorrow!!

爱的代价。。

was listening to my Ipod on the way to Uni..and this song kind of woke me up..listened to the lyrics..pretty upset but quite realistic..haha..enjoy..^^.. 爱的代价 by梁咏琪..

rainy day..

woke up in the morning...it was around 12 degree celcius..the wind speed was around 32 km/h..i decided to walk to southern cross instead of taking tram..well..from my house to southern cross station is only 2 stops away..but usually i chose to take tram mainly because i bought a monthly ticket plus i don't want to walk in cold..but today..i just feel like walking in the cold since my heart is cold enough..i enjoyed the wind that keep blowing towards my face..i waited for around 15 minutes and i decided to take the train from flinders station instead..because the next pakenhem train will be in another half an hour..

in the train..looked through the window..the sky was gloomy..as if it is going to rain..maybe because of the weather..i felt pretty down..then it really started to rain..it made me think of a little girl was crying and the tears kept dropping and landed on the window..the whole scenery was so depressing..

reached uni..i was trying to find out where to submit my lab report..i walked around the building and finally found the box that stated on the cover sheet..i submitted the report into the box with my freezing hand..inside the office i saw this girl who are in the same tutorial as me..when i walked out the office with her..i saw a guy waiting outside the office..and the girl was smiling..i can tell that guy is her boyfriend from the way she looked at him..she started to talk to that guy.."oh god..i'm freezing.."..and the reply was "come..let me hold your hand.."the guy hold her hand gently and put it in his pocket..and my heart suddenly stop beating for a second..can feel that my heart was actually aching..i'm not sure why am i arranged to witness this kind of scenario in this state of my life..and the sky started to rain again..is the sky feeling upset for me as well?raining while i was walking around uni..and yea..i got all wet..but in the rain..all i saw was all e couples walking together and the boyfriends were trying to protect their girlfriends from getting wet..all i felt was down down down..especially when i was trying to mourn for my past last night..

today..basically is not a good day for me..depressed depressed depressed..yes..all girls are silly creatures..GIRLS..STOP DREAMING..THERE IS NO FAIRY TALES IN THIS REALISTIC WORLD..
well..maybe i should get used to this as soon as possible..winter is coming..how am i going to survive like this..jia you ba..hopefully i can do it..

cheers~

end of easter break..

last night to enjoy before uni reopen..well..overall..i should say i didn't really enjoy my holiday..not sure why..maybe because i was supposed to catch up with my studies but obviously i didn't do it..why?because i was distracted by someone i love..not that he distracted me..i should say i was emotionally distracted..so yea..well..in fact i did study but i didn't cover everything..the best thing is i got an email from the staff yesterday saying that i will be having a test on this coming Friday..isn't that great?

anyway..from this holiday i kind of learnt something..from previous post we know that..not all the friendship last forever..and of course relationship too..and i also starting to accept that everyone will change eventually..and yes maybe i am on my way too..to someone better or worst?that's for all of you to judge..and last thing is in order to get what i want..i have to put in my heart and soul..and start thinking what kind of person am i?do i deserve to get what i am hoping for?if i don't then how should i improve myself so that i deserve to get that..not sure whether you all will understand what am i trying to say..but i guess whatever message i am trying to send here are all in there..and i hope i am almost there..not just saying things you want..it also applies on friendship and relationship..meaning..if you want to maintain a friendship or relationship..effort is needed..and also you heart and soul..

SO!tomorrow!back to uni..i am not sure i should be excited or upset..uni starts meaning i have to "enjoy" travelling again which is really tiring especially when class start at 8am and end at 5pm..and tomorrow i have to go uni earlier just to submit my stupid lab report..and what time my class start?3pm..isn't that sucks?and that lab report due on 12pm..i m so pissed..but anyway..holiday finishing soon..yea..real soon..so is time for me to concentrate back into my studies now..continue to score well in order to get 1 step nearer to my goal..ganbate!!aza aza fighting!!

LASTLY!ALL THE BEST TO EVERYONE!ESPECIALLY TO THOSE WHO ARE GOING TO HAVE MID-SEM TEST..JIA YOU!がんばて　くだいさい！！

cheers~~

I Told You So..

this is a song i would like to share..as my housemate keep playing this song and then he got me addicted..and i find the lyrics pretty awesome..well.at least to me.. so enjoy..I Told You So by Carrie Underwood..

messy feelings...

last night..i had a great night with all the convents gals..xuan..jas..ann..ling n asther..we were supposed to have dinner together only..but we somehow realised that had been a long time we didn't really catch up with each other..so we decided to hang out outside QV..6 girls sitting on the carpet grass in a circle..we chat we laughed we had fun..but my mind brought me back to 2 yrs back..i don't know why..just feel pretty down again over the facts that everything is different now..the facts that not all friendship n relationship will last forever..perhaps this is where we pick up our mistakes and grow to be a better one..but still..why can't things last?why people must change so easily??why can't they just stay who they are?they changed because they finally know who are they supposed to be?but it doesn't make sense..shouldn't they supposed to change to a better one when they finally know who they want to be?or is it due to the environment and the reality?WTH M I THINKING..haih..stop it!is none of my business!people have the choice to choose how they want to live with..well..i can get over this..this "cruel" reality that had kidnapped all my happiness that used to belong to me away..

anyway..had lunch with xuan jas and ann again..as we planned to go and take a look at fo guan yuan..so that we can start chanting and praying and volunteer-ing..and now i am thinking whether i should be active in this or i should keep myself away from this..hmm..maybe i should wait untill my sis come back only decide..well..on the way back..ann n i decided to go coles to do some groceries..by right ann supposed to be the one who accompany me..but i was bad enough to keep saying this "airen!this 5 buckz only..very cheap!buy buy buy!"and didn't know she will get distracted so easily and BANG!she bought more then me till i need to worry will she be able to carry those stuff back to dockland..my bad..airen..sorry..

on the way back..we were talking about how we slack during this one week break..i was telling her..we will not be having any break in between till our mid year exam..and her replied was "no!we still got ANZAC day!1 day break"yes..ANZAC day..this is where it touched my heart..25th of April is ANZAC day..is also his birthday..the day he said he might be in Melbourne so i can celebrate with him..but now..everything canceled..everything gone..my mood dropped from super high to super duper ultra low..but of course i fake it well..and airen didn't realize something was happening in my heart..then when i reached home..i don't know what had happened to me..i felt really sleepy and fall asleep on my study table and he appeared in my dream..when i woke up i can feel that my heart was actually aching and my eyes cannot open because the tears had kind of glued up my eyes..i sat in front of my table staring at my laptop and started to miss him again..i know he will not contact me anymore and of course i can't..i know he deserves a better life..i shouldn't be there to keep messing up his life..i should let go..and yes!really let go!but why is it so easy to be said than done?haih..

i guess all this feelings are all due to this 1 week break..that makes me think so much..hopefully i will feel better when uni reopen....

cheers~

Leaving + complicated feelings...

watching the clock on the wall

been a while since you called

i can't help but wait

it's late and i can't get no sleep

something's different this time

it just doesn't feel right

have we broken in two?

am i reli gona lose u tonight?

u come walking in

tears in ur eyes

pretending like it's alrite

but i know u're leaving

i know that smile

i can tell you've been crying

you're gona say goodbye

i wish i could stop you

but you've made up your mind

i beg you dont go

but i already know

you're leaving

where does the time go?

between goodbye and hello

how did we come to this?

is there something missed along the way?

with your bags at the door

i wanna pull you in close

and hold you once more even though

i know you're leaving

i know that smile

i can tell you've been crying

you're gona say goodbye

i wish i could stop you

but you've made up your mind

i beg you don't go

but i already know

i know you're leaving

here comes the sleepless nites

here comes the tears i'm gona cry

here comes the last goodbye leaving us behind

oh this can't be right

i know you're leaving

i know that smile

i can tell you've been crying

you're gona say goodbye

i wish i could stop you

but you've made up your mind

i beg you don't go 

but i already know

i know you're leaving....

suddenly feeling emo again..not sure y..but i guess is cos of him..n dis song happened to play from my player..not sure whether is coincidence or fated..since i played it randomly..well..kinda miss him which i noe i shudnt..telling ppl i edi over everything was a lie..how possible 2 get over sum1 so easily..i envy those ppl hu can do dat..i hope i can too..but too bad i cant cos i m not dat kind of person..sud have a stupid thinking..hoping 2 have 1 mor day to b wif him..but come on..he is gone..n i shud insist to let it go..easy to say..feeling stupid n naive again..haih..

well..i don understand..y are ppl ard me changing so fast?i m feeling disappointed..wads wrong wif dis world..wads wrong wif every1's thinking..y will everything end up like dis?sud feel lost..wad will happen to dis world if a dr cont to behave like this when she is not supposed to be..isnt a dr supposed to save ppl from misery dat caused by sickness..n prevent e disease from spreading..being a good model infront of every1?wad happened to my idol when i was small?how will my beloved uncle think if he is still ard?or mayb i m juz thinking too much?mayb dey were like dat even when i was small..juz dat i don reli get in touch wif e dr-to-be/dr's world so i donno..i m feeling reli disappointed over everything dat changed aroud me..i hope u noe hu u r..including my "used to b" close frewns..everntho we seldom tok 2 each other..but i noe bout ur life..cos sum1 will update me eventually..hope u all wont disappoint me completely..

hope i can slp tonite..

goodnite to every1 n dis world dat kp changing...

wad a "wonderful" day..

well..it supposed to be a reli wonderful n exciting day yesterday..but like i said woke up in e morning..feel kinda blue..neway wad i did yest was so out of my limit n hope dat will b e last time i m doin dat..cos i kinda feel guilty eventually..so everything was awesome starting from when jun jun n i start 2 bake cake..til i lose in e games n gona drink 1 big cup of beer plus jim bean..n den things start to change..haha..
neway..jalenes's bdae celebration was awesome except for e lousy service initially..esp when every1 was soooo hungry..n dat stupid waiter took so long 2 come..wadever..still we njoyed ourselve..i guess..did we?haha..den planning to hang out..since every1 except ivy n chris were der..but too bad..no place 2 hang out..den roy n vinson wanted to get some drink den finally we got split up..some went back some went to roy's house..

e worst part starting from here..we played games n i lose den i drink..i m sure i m not drunk cos i can rmb everything i did n i said last nite..juz dat i feel reli dizzy..n yes..finally i got to noe how it feels when u r ALMOST drunk..i gona admit..i cant walk in straight line..n i cant control my hands..when i trying 2 hold sumthing it dropped..n i m soo sorry bout e beer dat kena their carpet..n yes..i fall..but i don get high..y?i donno..n is so unbelievable dat i did all e dares except stripping..dat is like so not me..whenever i think bout dat..i was like wth!wth m i doin?well..mayb sumtimes is good to b extreme..but of cos in a right way..n i pretty regret..n yes!i shud learn from daryl..noein when to stop..but i guess dis will b my last time ba..no more alcohol!ah..mayb at most 1 or 2 bottles but definitely not 4 bottles plus e mixture of jim bean wif beer..dat was so ah..cant even think of any words to describe..n i gona apologise to william..i feel so bad..he juz sit der n did nth..watching us..den end up he went back alone..SORRY!!!

well..act i m kinda glad dat i m a bit tipsy tho..cos when i m tipsy i manage to say wadever i wanna say..sumthing dat i wont say it when i m normal..i have done my part..so e others..leave it to u to decide wad u wanna do..u noe hu u r..
i guess dats it!k..last thing..

HAPPY 21ST BDAE JALENE!

new blog new life..

guess is time for me to reli start a new life..e stuff i realised from e day i step out from my home n landed on a totally different land are

*i gona learn how to let go..
*i gona face e truth tat e world is unfair..
*nvr get things for granted..
*cherish everything i have n not till when e things or ppl left me..
*nth last forever..
*promises cant b trusted..
*family are e 1 closest to me..hu will not look down on me n will always b der for me to support me n encourage me..
*some friends are juz passer-by of my life..
*not to put in all my effort on sum1 till i finally realise wad kind of person she/he is
*not to put in all my feelings to sum1 hu u think u love e most as u mite love him deeply but he mite not..
LASTLY!
*studies n future is my priority!

woke up super early today..which i donno y..v tired..but couldnt fall aslp again..so decided to create a new blog..b4 thinkin of creating a new blog..sum1 appeared in my mind..hu i m not sure can b trusted..as everything i told him will end up in my mum's ears..not to say that e sumthing i told him was a secret n my mum definitely cannot noe bout it..but i juz don like e feelings dat my words got passed to sum1 else..n den..weird feelings coming out..wad happened to e "friendship" we had in e past?wad happened to e fone call he always made when i nd sum1 to tok to even after midnite?wad happened to everything we had b4 i left for my college life..gone!all gone!kinda blue morning..haih..

anyway..last nite..i finally decided to end everything..mite not b clean..but at least i noe i will not b part of his life nemor..i m done..i got blocked..hope everything will not replay again..bye my loved..hope u will sumhow realised hu cares for u e most when u said she nvr care bout u..

is a pretty blue post for e opening of my blog..but dis is e onli reason i recreate a new blog..dump all e unhappy stuff to my blog..n hope i can lead a happier life..^^

cheers~