messed up..

no idea how can I get this down this few days, not sure if is due to my result or something else.
one thing I am sure is, I am tired of how you are treating me, Kel posted this song and it really touched my heart.
though I am always acting I am happy, but I know how upset I am deep in my heart.
She asked me why do I looked so sad the whole day, I told her I was just too tired.
I realised I changed a lot after exam, from a bubbly girl to a super quiet girl. I don't smile that often anymore.
I don't know what's wrong with me but I can just break down anytime, even when driving along at night on highway.
Came home early today before the birthday dinner for my aunt, decided to take a rest, tears just cant stop dropping when I was lying on bed.
I really don't know what's in my mind, how can I get this depressed?
am starting to worry if my depression is going to come back anytime soon.
feeling so lethargy all the time, losing all my interest in everything, don't even feel like talking.
all I want now is a getaway, to relax my mind with someone I am comfortable with.
how hard is that?

I am tired with all the guessing game, all the hot and cold, all the whatever feeling that makes me feel uncomfortable. I am sorry but I really need to let go, if I could.
Probably godbro is right. I am not strong enough.

你总是一副不在意的样子 　　

在我面前笑嘻嘻 　　

话语如儿戏 　　我对你充满疑意 　　

然而当他的手挥舞在我的肩臂 　　

突然你的眉间多了一丝严厉 　　

而在你眼里找到的却是怜惜 　　

你转过身去 拳已攥紧 　　

你承认吧 你需要我 　　

可你需要更多的是勇气 　　

你害怕失去 更害怕一个人的孤寂 　　

我承认了 我需要你 　　

选择友谊是对爱情的逃避 　　

试着抛开怀疑 　　

因为我已经无力在抗拒 　　

我总是猜不透你的用意 　　

曾今试图一而再 　　

再而三读懂你 　　

如果说我不在意 　　

那也是一出戏 　　

这不是秘密 　　

在你面前我无须掩盖什么东西 　　

因为你懂我的点点滴滴 　　

我只是来不及 承认自己 　　

你承认吧 你需要我 　　

可你需要更多的是勇气 　　

你害怕失去 更害怕一个人的孤寂 　　

我承认了 我需要你 　　

选择友谊是对爱情的逃避 　　

试着抛开怀疑 　　

因为我已经无力在抗拒 　　

看不清 弄不明 　　

我不想再猜测什么 　　

只要听你说 我需要你...........