I can't even breath..

Someone is really pushing me too hard..I scared I really can't take it anymore and something might really happen to me..I can't stay here anymore..I might go insane..faking the smile all day is making me super exhausted..but showing emo face everyday is not gona change my luck either..The only way I can solve this problem is to move out this bloody place..somewhere that's really not belong to me when there is someone there..whenever that someone is there..my life is gona be so sucky..and I seriously am having a suckest life now..I am scared..I might really break down one day..

feeling hurt..

I don't know what had happened to me..I am feeling kinda hurt and pissed off now..but I can't really show it..feel like crying..I am such an idiot..I seriously gona stop treating myself so badly..and stop giving a damn on things that is nothing to do with me..

HIgh expectiation= High disappointment..

Alright..just woke up from my nap..is only the 2nd week of uni..and I am feeling bloody stress..maybe because I missed quite a few lectures..and I kinda feel I am so far behind now.. Accommodation..I seriously need someone to take over my room so I can shift to my new place and settle down!but I can't because apparently people buy handphones and to reject people's call..register Email and wont even reply..Sucks man!and yea..my 21st birthday is just a disappointment..I shouldn't be complaining but I seriously don't expect that and went through my 21st birthday like that..recelebrate it some other day is not gona help and is bloody meaningless..I had a suckest birthday in my life this year and why must it be on my 21st birthday..

Anyway..so many things in my mind now..my studies..my accommodation..my friends..all I feel like doing now is to shout!and I really feel like breaking down..

tata..

cheers~

feeling bad...

Okay..I know I shouldn't think that way..but well..I seriously feel damn emo now..great..early in the morning again..this 1 month..all my friends did for me seriously makes me wanna cry out loud..they are far too awesome..and I can't imagine how my life is gona be when I leave here..I will miss you all so much and the feeling is hard to describe..

Jun..I seriously feel very bad to tell u so late..the thing is I don't even know how to tell..cos it makes me want to cry everytime I tried to talk about this..I was crying when reading your msn last night..Su Ann n Ikai were kind of shocked though..anyway..I cry because I can't meet u..I cry because I am going to leave u all..I cry because I am happy to have you all as my friend..and I cry because of how much you care about me..21 years old..I donno how am I going to go through that day..once in a life..but I am going to be away from you all..thanks for wanting to plan a celebration for me..eventhough I am not fortunate enough to have it in the end..but the thought counts..Jun..after chatting with u last night..I donno what to say..my heart still feels pain..I am like in dilemma..don't know why my life will end up like this..that is what I want..but I don't know am I doing the right things..another thing is I know is my whole family is happy for this decision..eventhough I am struggling inside..feel sorry for not letting others people know yet..Jun..again..I am sorry for letting you know so late..I miss you..

cheers~

I feel contented..

Okay..I seriously feel super blissful to have all my these friends..I feel super great every second I spent with them..the effort they put in to make me happy make me feel super touched!I love you all so much la..no words to describe..just love you all..haha!!

anyway..went for a movie with Jasmine few days back..with bean beg sitting..buahaha!!o bloody awesome la!but the only thing I don't like is the bean beg made me feel sleepy..haha!!so I watched this show..NEXT THREE DAYS, THE..this is like the 1st movie that makes me feel heartbroken..sob sob..

                                                         Kim chi pancake by Jasmine..

                                                    Sweet Chilli Chicken from Oriental Spoon

                                                                Jap Chae by Jasmine..

                                                            korean style soup by Jasmine..

                                                                 isn't she sweet enough?

                                                  Photo taken after Jasmine curl my hair..

                                                             me likey this!!so funny!=p

                                                      like this too!!but my airen not in there!=(

then..the party Jasmine made for me..her cooking skill is soo awesome!esp her korean food..omg!I am like in heaven when eating her food..the special guest that attended the party..thanks so much..

don't know what else to write..the main thing I want to tell is..I AM HAPPY!!so my dear jun jun..don worry!!missss u lots!!=)

cheers~

우울한

feeling kind of depressed this morning..woke up pretty early..couldn't really sleep well these few days..there is something in my heart that I won't want to say it out..or should I say I don't even know how to start saying it out..I wish I can continue staying in my own world..or perhaps delusion..feeling kind of miserable nowadays trying hard to push myself back to reality..parting is the thing that I hate the most..but as one said..we part to meet again..or even parting makes bond stronger..I wonder if that is true..anyway..someone just depressed me further.."regretting being with you" is the last thing I ever want to hear..but somehow it just came out from the comvo easily..I can't really describe how I feel..all I know is I am feeling freaking hurt..as if I am going to have a myocardiac infarction..this is bad..had been so long since the last time I cry for him..an email saying sorry isn't really helping..what the hell..hope this is not gona spoil my day with my dear Jas..

Happy Chinese New Year!

Guys!Happy Chinese New Year!been super long since my last blog..well..I am back in Melbourne..this year Chinese New Year is the most boring CNY celebration yet enjoyable..Anyway..things around me keep changing..some one I used to hate become my friend now..some one I used to miss a lot is kind of out of my mind now..well..everything is unpredictable huh?so..anyway..Melbourne..the place I used to like a lot..a place where I used to hope to stay all the time..people's thinking do change isn't it?I am no longer so into Melbourne anymore..I hope to stay in Msia and to be with my parents..eventhough I need to do a lot of things for them..but I seriously hope to stay by their side..I miss my parents the most now..relationship?nah..is just a game for me now..u can have it..but is not necessary for this stage of my life..what I want now is something that can lead me to my future I am longing for..nothing is gona stop me from doing that..so yea..and friends?is what I need the most..friends that being supportive and always there for me to motivate me..and you know I really do appreciate what you guys did for me..and you know who you are..and I hope you all will still support me and encourage me no matter what decision I make next..I donno what am I posting here..is like soo irrelevant..but well..anyway..still wishing you everyone a Happy Bunny Year!=)..May God bless all of you...^^

cheeeers~