Monday Blue

No idea why am I so emo early in the morning..surprisingly I was driving 80km/h along the way to uni, I was hoping the traffic light will turn red so I can sit and chill in the car, listening to the emo song played by my modulator and watching the rain falling infront of me..I am so lazy to talk or even smile when friends were talking to me..chose to sit all alone in one corner of the library though they were friends who were having same break time with me. No idea if my brain actually absorb what I studied..all I know is I totally don't have the mood to talk to anyone. what's going on with me?

Perhaps I know what happened to me but I guess I can't really bring that up to anyone. This should not influence me now, well, is not the right thing to think about now I guess? Wish I could just bury that deep into my heart and forget all about that for now.

Been telling myself not to get involve with anything which is unrelated to me, been telling myself not to care everything happens around me, but why am I feeling so left out when I was so called part of the team number and know nothing about what's going on?yes..I don't like talking to you because you love fighting with me over something that is got to do with my personal thinking..but that doesn't mean you have the right to exclude me out for the "official" meeting for an official event? Should I be glad or upset?Glad that I will not have much workload because those are none of my business and upset that I am your so called friend and i got neglected? Feeling so awkward when friends around me asking why am I here when other members are having meeting..All I can say is I have no idea, I wasn't called up to attend the meeting. Anyway, what I don't wish to happen is finally happening. Positions affecting the friendship, priority got misplaced, whatever it is, I should just let go, since I am fine with my life alone. Had a chat with one of the members whom I didn't expect will have a conversation just between us, it actually made me feel worst by knowing everything about what they discussed and I was not involved. Sometimes, is better not to know anything then hearing something from someone else.

Wish time can pass faster since there is no way for me to quit now..