Finally most of the things are coming to the end, or maybe is just the beginning..Uni reopen till now, today is the only day I could sleep till 9am..how sad is that?well, lots of incidence happened since uni reopen, Orientation, Student Union and all the Societies I got involved just stopped me from breathing..Though was really tired, but I learnt a lot and realized how naive I was or maybe how idiotic I was in the past 1 year. I wouldn't say I enjoyed the whole process. again, people around me are changing, or perhaps I was the one who kept changing..I am no longer that enthu though I will still do my best to get things done in order to make everyone happy. But I am so sick with all the outcomes I got, people are taking me for granted, my so called close friend is no longer that close, I am back to the origin again. I am all alone. Ironically, I do enjoy the lonely moment where I don't have to fake myself to smile to who I didn't want to talk to and trying to accept his so called matured reasoning..I always wonder, how could a guy keep telling me how matured he is when the fact is he is extremely childish?How could someone can just keep telling he wants ideas from everyone to make it fair but the in the end he was still the 1 who said it all..From what I understand, the conversation should not have started from the very beginning.
I used to believe human nature is kind..but everything happened around me like right now is pulling my faith down, I no longer trust people so easily yet I feel so transparent infront of everyone..everyone knows what I am thinking?!!I used to believe in love, but thanks to past experience, I never want to get involve again..till now when I started to let go a bit thinking of accepting it again, some incidence just stop me from doing so..what is really going on in this world?Is it purely because of the hormone or guys are designed like that naturally?why cant a guy just stick to 1 girl and be faithful to her?not even when you are already married?not trying to generalise everyone but well, that's what I always see..because of that period of happiness, you are willing to ruin the warm family you built up, are you crazy, insane or brainless?because of someone who is not going to be there with you forever, because of someone who did not even involve with the hardship of your life in the past, is that really worth it?you have all the smart kids with a dedicated wife, what are you expecting more?not trying to be harsh, but do guys really think without using their brain?or their hormoneS say it all?
Last night before sleep, I don't know why people suddenly came and told me how much they wish to have a boyfriend, need someone to rely on, life is dull and no excitement..well, I would say mine too..I am sick of being so independent, sick of staying strong, but the thing is..who is there for me to rely on?looking back to the past, with everything I saw..I am not brave enough to take up the challenge until someone right for me appears..If not, sorry if I don't reply your message.
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