I have no idea what title to put for this entry..anyway..today..I am super moody..or should I say moodswing?maybe is errr post-hyper syndrome due to lack of sleep..okay..so what happened to me today was..I was pissed by the bloody Metro train..wasted at least an hour to wait for the train..haih..well..I am trying to figure out whats the reason that make me feel like this and I came out for some few reasons..here we go..

Events that make me unhappy:

-the train that keep delaying

-my epi tut groupmates..who cancel the discussion till I kind of give up on them for the presentation..they are always so irresponsible..eventhough is only 5 marks but hey..that is easy mark isn't it..I don't understand how can they just don't give a damn on that..what are these people thinking..and I am just going to do everything in case we don't have enough time to finalise everything..

-was sitting in the train..to avoid the sunlight, I chose to sit the opposite direction..looking out of the window as if I am watching my past passing through me..I don't know why I feel that way..I started to feel emo again..thinking about my future..I am scared I might not be able to reach what I want..Guess this is the main reason that brought my whole mood down..I just can't stop anyhow think when I am alone..and this feel sucks..where is my law of attraction?where are all my positive energy?please come back to me..I need you guys a lot a lot a lot..haih..

Events that brighten up my day a little:

-I finally can fully concentrate during biostat tut and I think I did pretty well for chem test..

-I finally won't feel anything or trying to escape when I listen to "Sonata no.17 in D minor Op-31, No.2 " The Tempest" 3rd movement" by Beethoven anymore..I used to skip this song when I was listening to Ipod..considering this is the song he played during the concert 2 years ago and he knows I love this a lot and trying hard to find the song in mp3 format for me which I appreciate it a lot..Anyway..this brightened up my day a little because this prove that I am over him now and I won't feel hurt anymore..
I think that's all for the "happy" event..

Anyway..I feel relieved when I finally added her back as friend..I am sorry for deleting her because of him..somehow we were best friend and I am happy that I added her bakc and explain everything to her and that's it!we are fine again..and ironically..after I added her..his MSN display picture were back to peki again..what does it mean?he still not over me yet?haha..I don't care anymore..we are officially over..he was right..I shouldn't attach to bear so much..is unhealthy and yea..I am slowly detaching myself from bear now..so yea..I am glad I used a healthier way to get through this..If the usual me..I will use alcohol to try to drunk myself eventhough I know is kind of hard..I will waste my time sleeping so that I won't feel that the time was passing super slow..I will flip through all the memories and bury myself deeper into the memories and make myself miserable but NO!I didn't this time..whenever I was upset..I listen to music..I listen to song..I on my player super loud and sing along..I will go swimming when I am free but now no more because no one can accompany me..and is scary to swim alone when the pool is in the basement! and If only if I have a keyboard or piano here..I will play my heart out..

I think I changed..sometimes I can't recognise myself..sometimes I don't know what am I doing..sometimes I feel like giving up..where is the usual me?where is my confidence?why can't I just stick to the new principle I made?I told myself never ever think of negative stuff that will disturb my life again..I failed..I told myself to put myself in the 1st priority..I failed..I told myself not to think about past again..I failed!why am I such a failure?I am damn emo now..please pull me out of this..haih...

I kind of think the blog entry I am writing now is super weird!but yea..that's how I feel now..

can't wait for summer break now..

cheerz~