Current Location: Monash Uni Law library..

Gonna take this 1 hour before revision lecture to rant a bit..
Well..I don't know what had happened to me this few weeks..My tempered is like so super bad and get annoyed super easily..For example..I can't stand those people who love to sit beside me soo much when there are sooo many empty seats in the train and forced me to take away my heavy bags as if I owe them like that..Then, I can't stand the noise of people eating gummies while talking..During lecture, I can't stand those people who sit beside me keep shaking their legs and people behind me keep banging my seats..and yes!I just can't concentrate during lecture..

I think I am going to explode soon..I realised I am really impatient nowadays..I hate to wait..everything have to be fast..I know is unhealthy but I just can't slow myself down..I can't stand the tram move so slow..I can't stand the train stopping at Flinders Station for do long..I can't even wait for a tram for 8 minutes..and I rather take another tram that is coming in 1 minute but taking the longer way to reach home..yea..I think I am going insane soon..Even when my sis talk to me I feel like shouting..Whenever she called "mei" I know she is going to ask me to do something and yea..I will show that annoyed face then she will get offended then there it goes..cold war..hope she understand me now..I am currently in hypertension stage..how I wish I can go to the beach or even just sit next to Bourke street to listen to those musician playing those soothing song to calm myself down..Actually I tried..I tried listen to those happier song..I banned myself from listening to those emo song but I realised..the more I try to ban myself and keep myself in hyperness..the more I feel miserable deep in my heart..

Exam is coming!in 1 week time..and I gonna say I am studying hard now..but mentally I am sick..physically I am exhausted..everytime I think of exam..my heart beats super fast then I feel breathless and nausea..How can I sit for exam in this situation..I am scared again..DAMN!Anyway..I think my sis kind of realise I am a bit abnormal and she was telling me "mei..I wanna sing K" then I will be like.."Jie, I wanna sing K too" then she will say shall we go?too bad..My reaction was NO!because that will be like wasting soo much time..and I will start feeling guilty about it then my condition will get worst..ishh..I really rant a lot..I seriously think I need a break..but I am feeling really stress and I really need to ACE!haih..I wish there is a drug that can stop me from being so paranoid..not depression med tho..and I think I am really suffering from hypoxia now..and I scared I will be having hyperventilation syndrome too..crap..this is so not right..I feel tired and sleepy sooo easily even sometimes I slept more then 9 hours..aiks..

okie..enough..sorry for the super long ranting..but this is the only place I can rant about myself or my life..apparently there is no one for me to really talk everything out..not even my family..I know how they think of me and what they want from me..so is not right to talk about this to them..so yea..

One last thing..I am now upgraded to the stage that..I don't even care bout his presence anymore..I wont use my account just to see hows his life anymore..and yea..I am pleased..but too bad..sometimes when he suddenly came into my mind..my heart will still a bit aching..but yea..I will be fine..Congrats me!!haha!okie..back to studies..

cheers~