Disappointment..

I am feeling very upset..and disappointed right now..wonder why people just can't treat me like the way I treat them..when they need help..I will surely be there for them..no matter how troublesome it is to solve the problems..I will just smile and said.."is ok..whats friends for?"..but what happened when I need help?my reply was..“你很好笑叻。。我那里够时间帮你。。我来不及了。。”What the hell is it?The moment when I heard that..my heart was soo cold..I swear I will never ask any help from him/her ever again..but I can't swear I wont help him/her anymore..but well..that's me..just a little rant before start studying again..just feeling a little down..aiks..

OMG OMG OMG!!1st time being the 1st to enter library..this feels sooo worng..so not me..haha..1st time feel myself like those typical nerd..haha..carrying lots of books and notes having a big backpack standing outside the library waiting for it to open..the moment when the door of thw library opens..I dont whether I should go in 1st or let others to go in 1st..in the end..I chose to go in 1st..since I was standing right infornt of the door..hahahaha!!!okie..I am weird..tomorrow 1st paper I still got mood blogging..haha!!

Well..I just can't wait for this week to be over..CHIA EE!4 MORE DAYS!AND YOU WILL BE 75% FREE!!I don't know why am I feeling soo tense up for this sem..my god..like can'tbreath like that..this Sem really passed super duper fast!

Alritey..should start studying now..if not no use being the 1st 1 to come to the library..GOODLUCK EVERYONE..oh..and

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELVIN!!!=)

CHEERS~~

Massive headache..

Alright..I am having a massive headache since last night..not migraine just headache..with this headache I don't feel nauseous so yea..just that it is making me feel like banging the wall again..but it didn't work this time..and as if it is going to explode..didn't sleep well for whole night..I don't know why suddenly like that..and yea..I hate it..

Anyway..recently found out this 2 guys and they are awesome..I am attracted to their talents and the songs they compose themselves..oh wait..only 1 of them composed song and another 1 sing better..I am soo addicted to them..crap..that is why studying at home is not a right decision..anyway..here you go...





Currently I am addicted to this song tho..I like the lyrics..and sometimes I was imagining that he sing this to me..then I will melt!nah..should stop day dreaming till the exam is over..haha..

Alright!I had decided!My next boyfriend must like music and know how to sing and play at least 1 instrument!!!Music is my lifeeee....haha!!ENJOY!and good luck to those who are having exam now!!!and also who are GOING to have their exam..=)..がんばて　くだいさい！！

cheers~

Current Location: Monash Uni Law library..

Gonna take this 1 hour before revision lecture to rant a bit..
Well..I don't know what had happened to me this few weeks..My tempered is like so super bad and get annoyed super easily..For example..I can't stand those people who love to sit beside me soo much when there are sooo many empty seats in the train and forced me to take away my heavy bags as if I owe them like that..Then, I can't stand the noise of people eating gummies while talking..During lecture, I can't stand those people who sit beside me keep shaking their legs and people behind me keep banging my seats..and yes!I just can't concentrate during lecture..

I think I am going to explode soon..I realised I am really impatient nowadays..I hate to wait..everything have to be fast..I know is unhealthy but I just can't slow myself down..I can't stand the tram move so slow..I can't stand the train stopping at Flinders Station for do long..I can't even wait for a tram for 8 minutes..and I rather take another tram that is coming in 1 minute but taking the longer way to reach home..yea..I think I am going insane soon..Even when my sis talk to me I feel like shouting..Whenever she called "mei" I know she is going to ask me to do something and yea..I will show that annoyed face then she will get offended then there it goes..cold war..hope she understand me now..I am currently in hypertension stage..how I wish I can go to the beach or even just sit next to Bourke street to listen to those musician playing those soothing song to calm myself down..Actually I tried..I tried listen to those happier song..I banned myself from listening to those emo song but I realised..the more I try to ban myself and keep myself in hyperness..the more I feel miserable deep in my heart..

Exam is coming!in 1 week time..and I gonna say I am studying hard now..but mentally I am sick..physically I am exhausted..everytime I think of exam..my heart beats super fast then I feel breathless and nausea..How can I sit for exam in this situation..I am scared again..DAMN!Anyway..I think my sis kind of realise I am a bit abnormal and she was telling me "mei..I wanna sing K" then I will be like.."Jie, I wanna sing K too" then she will say shall we go?too bad..My reaction was NO!because that will be like wasting soo much time..and I will start feeling guilty about it then my condition will get worst..ishh..I really rant a lot..I seriously think I need a break..but I am feeling really stress and I really need to ACE!haih..I wish there is a drug that can stop me from being so paranoid..not depression med tho..and I think I am really suffering from hypoxia now..and I scared I will be having hyperventilation syndrome too..crap..this is so not right..I feel tired and sleepy sooo easily even sometimes I slept more then 9 hours..aiks..

okie..enough..sorry for the super long ranting..but this is the only place I can rant about myself or my life..apparently there is no one for me to really talk everything out..not even my family..I know how they think of me and what they want from me..so is not right to talk about this to them..so yea..

One last thing..I am now upgraded to the stage that..I don't even care bout his presence anymore..I wont use my account just to see hows his life anymore..and yea..I am pleased..but too bad..sometimes when he suddenly came into my mind..my heart will still a bit aching..but yea..I will be fine..Congrats me!!haha!okie..back to studies..

cheers~

Titanic Artefact Exhibition..

Okay..yesterday I went to the Titanic Artefact Exhibition with my sister's gang..The exhibition was nice..but too bad I cant take any photos..after the exhibition I went for a 3D movie named "Ghosts of the Abyss"..anyway..is about how those scientist explore the Titanic which were buried under the sea for 73 years..well..human nowadays are so intelligent and is like nothing is impossible now..They invented two special underwater robot cameras to explore the sunken ship..It takes you on a dive...to feel the romance of the wreck..they nicknamed Jake and Elwood, which moved the cameras through almost every nook and cranny of the decaying ship and they were trying to duplicate human vision..

this is how the cam look like..The yellow cam named as Elwood and the blue cam named as Jack..

Anyway..the exhibition is incredible..is kind of unbelievable that the stuff that were buried under the sea for 73 years still looks the same..well..After the movie..I kind of start to imagine..how will I feel if I am there..I can't imagine I am floating on the middle of the sea and feeling super cold and thinking that I am losing all my families..OMG!It is soo scary..anyway..I feel like crying during the movie and even during the exhibition..I saw 1 of the survivor said.."I have a feeling that I won't reach Amerika with this ship"..is like they already have the feeling something might happen..and I really feel very sorry for Captain Smith as that was suppose to be his last mission..to drive the biggest ship in the world..then he will retire..who will expect that to happen..this ship was supposed to be unsinkable..this incidence will happen partly because of the selfishness of human..as one of the crew were trying to break the record to reach America in the shortest duration hence they tried to drive it faster and when they met the iceberg..they did not have enough time and space to slow the ship down to avoid the iceberg..and instead of breaking records they become the history..I don't know how I feel..all I know is everything is unpredictable so we really shouldn't take everything for granted..1500 lifes were sacrificed..we really should take this as a lesson..besides, I kind of learn what a team member and leader should do..I really have to salute to those crew in the ship eventhough they know they will die eventually..they stay on till the last minute without running away..stay on and keep sending telegram..helping all the passengers to get out of the ship..I mean..if I am 1 of them..will I be that noble?This question came into my mind when I was watching the movie..Come on..I am hoping to be a great doctor and my job is to save people's life but this came into my mind and I am starting to doubt on my capability again..but..I have to say that..I am willing to sacrifice my time or whatsoever to my friends or people who are in need..but can I sacrifice my life as well?that's a question I have to start figure it out now..imagining I am in a emergency situation..and I know I am going to die if I stay on to help people out of the situation and trying my best to rescue those people who are still unconscious..Will I do that?I don't know..

Anyway..this exhibition is fun that all of us get to have a boarding pass with a character written on top and I got a 6 years old kid going on board with my dad and cousin..at the end of the exhibition..there was a list of survivor and lost..and I actually went and search for it..and I was actually one of the survivor!I was telling my sis about that..but her reaction was.."come on!you are a kid!of course you survive!"..I was like..fine then..well..what she said was quite true since they save the women and kids 1st..poor guys..well..I know I was lame..but the locals were lamer then me..they actually hug each other and said YAY!!Thanks God I survive!I was like..errrrrr...and when somebody died..they hug them as well..and said..I am sorry that you are dead..hahahha!!

Well..during the exhibition and while exploring the Melbourne museum I saw a lot of cute babies and infants and little kids!they were soo cute and makes me feel like having the urge to have a baby..hahahaha!!anyway..they were really soo cute but I pity their parents because they were like really crawling around and fighting in the public!!

Hmm..I guess thats all for now..I am lazy to upload photos here..go get a look from my facebook if you are interested with it..hehe..

cheers~

p/s:I really super active in blogging nowadays..I think I should stop for the time being..exam is coming!!Aza Aza Fighting everyone!!

CN Blue - Love MV

My new Addiction..They are so damn cute!!especially Jung Yong Hwa!He was soo cool in You're beautiful series..haha!and the melody..makes me feel like dancing..and apparently all my emo-ness left me alone after listening to all their songs..their voice nice!!!hehe..

if and only if..

I had a scary nightmere last night..A dream about everyone was laughing at me..and I feel so inferior..that I couldn't reach my goal..I remembered I told my parents before.."My future..is either I become a D or I will go and D" and yea..this freak my parents out..but too bad..I am really that determined to do that..If only if I am smart enough..if only if I am lucky enough..If only if I never know him..If only if I listen to my parents and stay in JB for my college instead..If only if I went to Manipal and not afraid about how tough the life there will be..If only if I don't have so much sickness that keep bothering me..perhaps everything will be different now..everything went smoothly in my life till I make my 1st decision and yea..I screwed it up so maybe that's what I deserved..When I woke up I can feel tears from my eyes flowing down..and listening to the raindrop dropping on my balcony..The only word I can think of to describe my current emotion is depressed..I can't see my future..I don't know what is going to happen next..I don't know how to continue the game..is scary till I don't dare to move on..I scared I will lose more instead..crap..I really hate this kind feelings early in the morning..

well..thought of this song while emo-ing..the song I sang during my primary singing competition..

擦干泪滴。。


and on the way finding this song..I saw another song..I like the violin part and the whole melody..ishh..wish I can play violin..



Hope everything will end soon..and I can get my life back..

cheers~