말도 없이 (Without Words)

1 of my friends introduced me this korean series "You're Beautiful"..she told me this is a comedy..yea..quite true..but there's still emo and sweet part..and of course i fall for e emo part..haha..n here's e song that act makes me cry and quite suit where I am in my life at the moment..enjoy..

my holiday so far..

hmm..I am glad i am back this holiday..but I am sad to see my mum being soo unhealthy..I am pleased that I am by her side when she needs me the most..I enjoyed everything i did for my family soo far..something I don't usually do..woke up early in the morning to make breakfast..go pasar alone..yea..alone..last time at least my sis was the driver..but now..I am able to do everything by myself..go pasar alone to get ingredient for lunch,dinner and healthy juice ingredient..I am glad that I am able to serve my parents..I am happy to see them smile and happy after eating all the food I cooked..I am glad that my dad secretly told my mum that "ah, our daughter really grow up now.." I am happy to drive my mum to wherever she need to eventhough I am really tired and feeling headache..I am happy to help my mum to settle everything that she can't do when she is alone..collecting rental..doing every single housechores..forced them to drink my vegetable juice..and make them eat med on time..this is the most meaningful holiday i ever had..I finally realised how happy i can be eventhough just stay at home serving my parents..and make them happy..they don't expect much from me..they just want to stop playing the main character in their life..and this holiday..i finally manage to be the main character in my family..and now i wish to stay in Msia..I know they are surely gona miss me soo much..well..I will miss them soo much too..daddy mummy..I love you!

So!Let's talk about today..I am pretty happy today..I kind of realised what I need and perhaps what I deserved..thanks so much for letting me to realised all this..I kind of letting go whatever that is not belong to me..and try to learn to cherish whatever I have now..pursuing whatever I deserved..it may take me a long time but I know that is what I want..thx!

and last thing is..juz read sum1's blog..feeling kind of weird..I am not sure how to describe that feelings..I just feel weird!feel like that blogs used to meant for me but in fact it is not..hahaha!whatever la..hmm..i think everything i said in my 2nd n 3rd paragraph is super unclear..but dats e fun part!!haha..k..gona wait for world cup now!chaoz!!!!nite nite!

time to love..

was roaming ard youtube..n happened to listen to this song..n this song act reflecting bout how i feel..but too bad..juz got a news dat almost kill me..having e urge to jump down from 29th floor..haha..stupid isn't it?this is not a good thing to have b4 my exam..i will try my best to get thru dis..hopefully..anyway..njoy this song..TIME TO LOVE by Supernova (초신성) & Tiara (티아라).




cheerz~

Valentine..

Today I would like to intro this song to every1..thanks to Joseph..actually he intro me this song and this singer long time ago..but I only get to really listen to her album now and get addicted with this song..so enjoy..

 Valentine by Kina Grannis..

Love, it's a special day
We should celebrate and appreciate
That you and me found something pretty neat
And I know some say this day is arbitrary

But it's a good excuse, put our love to use
Baby, I know what to do
Baby, I...
I will love you
I'll love you, I'll love you

Love, I don't need those things
I don't need no ring
I don't need anything
But you with me
'Cause in your company
I feel happy, oh so happy and complete

And it's a good excuse, put our love to use
Baby, I know what to do
Baby, I...
I will love you
I'll love you, I'll love you

Yeah, it's a good excuse, put our love to use
Baby, I know what to do
Baby, I...
I will love you
I'll love you, I'll love you

So won't you be my honey bee?
Giving me kisses all the time
Be mine, be my Valentine

So won't you be my honey bee?
Giving sweet kisses all the time
Be mine, be my Valentine

Oh, be my Valentine

Anyway..I kind of had a rough night last night..well..perhaps is my own fault to ask so much..and I shouldnt be so naive anymore..and the lesson of the story was truth sometimes really hurts a lot..telling white lies might be better if necessary..so yea..i listened to this song the whole day while studying in library and it actually make me feel better..I don't know why..off I go..just in case I din get to upload my blog anytime before my exam..I would like to wish everyone all the best and good luck for the mid sem final..for those who are doing EOS3 in 3 weeks time..jia you!and I am sure you guys will pass all the OSPE OSCE SAQ and OBA..good luck guys..^^

cheers~

i donno you anymore...

been busy over all the assignments, quiz, test and volunteer job recently..thought maybe busy a bit can make me think less about everything that happened around me which I really don't feel like dealing with it..but in fact the more i trying to escape..the more it bothers me..and now what bothers me the most again..people around me..or should I say someone i used to treat as best friend?well..I don't recognize her anymore..she is walking on the bitchy pathway now..the one i used to have fun with no longer there..people can't criticize her in a funny way anymore..she gave me a feeling that she is at the top of the world..unreachable..again why people can change soooo easily?

one night while i was waiting for tram to go home..i heard this from people beside me.."finally show her true colour"..the moment i heard that..she came into my mind..maybe she was like that..just that I did not notice..maybe because she was good in covering up herself..and i didn't even notice..and naively treat her as 1 of my best friends..I should change to protect myself from being hurt isn't it?seems like everyone around me is faking themselves..haih..gona get back to my lab report now...

life vs train..

today..on the way to uni..I feel bad for fighting for the seat in the train..mainly because I was really tired and I need to sit!haha..anyway..as usual..I sit next to the window..and yea..it was raining this morning..while I was "admiring" the scenery..i felt very uncomfortable because all 6 seats were occupied today..and I felt squeezy..when it reached Richmond..1 person went off..then..South Yarra..another 2 went off..Toorak..I was the only 1 left..and then Caulfied..4 seats were being occupied again..this whole scene made me think of our life is just like train..well..not only train but whatever public transport..people come in and out just like that..sometimes you can't even noticed..people who sat next to you might just be a passer by in your life..or if he/or she talk to you..she/he might be someone important to you for the rest of your life..who knows?and you will be the passer by to someone else too..

life is just like getting into the train..everything is unpredictable..we don't know who will be sitting next to us the next minutes..who will leave us..or when will the train crash..people come in and out from our life..but we are the one who chose who to remember..who are worth to be remembered..anyway..I hate taking train alone everyday..always bring me funny thought..haih..

So..precious every second with your love one..you won't know when he/she will leave you..don't make yourself regret eventhough I already regretted doing a lot of things that I shouldn't..but I believe is still not too late..hmm..ishh..should really finish my assignment now..due next week and I am still slacking..so..people!fighting!!

cheers~~

recent thought,,

recently..I slowly realised that I don't really have anyone to talk to..except my bear bear..he is the only one who will agree with whatever I said..he is the only one who will not pour cold water on me..he is the only one who will not sarcastic me..he is the only one will quietly listen to me and he is also the only one who will not give me any pressure..he makes me smile..he make me laugh..he makes me feel better..and will never make me cry..he is now the only one I can rely on..but I know he shouldn't be the one..I need someone who are alive..but the one I need isn't here for me..and will not be here for me..never..forever..

I naively thought that by keeping myself busy will make me stop thinking so much but apparently I am wrong..eventhough I enjoy doing everything I am doing right now..but the moment when I stop doing everything..my mind start roaming again..and my heart will start hurting again..whenever i hug bear..whenever I talk to bear..whenever i put bear into sleep..I feel hurt..I feel sick..I feel super down..but what can I do?I need bear the most now..and I can't let him go..but if I don't I really scared my life will just gone like that..please spare me..I am soooo sick..haih..