Pissed!

I really don't know why I get pissed so easily nowadays..as if everything is opposing me..leave alone the METRO train system which always delay..tell me left 1 minutes then who knows last second change from Pakenham to Frankston..I can't imagine how many billion cells I killed everyday..why is the place I am staying now pissing me off as well!Hey..I am really freaking tired today..just stop your bloody maintenance..I am pissed enough that you always close down 1 lift and left one lift for us..36th floors building you expect all of us to rely on that pathetic 1 lift!this is nonsense!then now you close down 2!WTH!ARRGH..damn..I never feel so breathless before..okay..11 floors..Initially I thought nah..easy..but hey..is killing me..especially when I was super tired..I can finally feel whats the feeling of hyper ventilation..is like no matter how much you breath..the oxygen is still not enough to reach your lung..my god!

Know what..I am really good at ranting now..I should really stop that..really not good for my health..and yea..I am chilling now..on-ing my fan to the max..never sweat that much eversince I reach here..not even when I was doing volunteer..exclude during summer..off to shower..

cheers~

I am bored......

haha..currently in Melbourne Uni Law library..Okay.I don't know why I like Law Library so much..The only place I like to study in Monash Uni is the Law Library...hmm..I think mainly because other library like Hargrave and Matheson are super noisy even when I put on my earphones..so yea..and the Melbourne Uni Law Library is soooo much nicer than the Monash Uni Law Library..as in..newer..cleaner..and bigger..but I like Monash Uni Law Library because it is classic enough..okay..I am really crapping right now..thanks to Human Neurobiology..is kind of driving me crazy..I don't know why I study this topic 1st since Neuro will be my last paper and I have 10+ days before that paper..hmmm..

Anyway..my previous entry said that I am pissed over my Epidemiology tutorial group members..and yea..I am stil upset over it..but guess what?!while I was trying to do all the questions for the presentation..I found a PDF file from google..exactly the same except it has all the answers with it..meaning?I don't have to do anything anymore!!!!I should have thought of it since it is a real medical case study..dumb me..hahaha!!

Okay..I really enjoy studying in library especially there are friends to study with me..so yea..Thanks Jasmine for bringing me over..=)..and also the atmosphere..the tension that push you to study together..motivate me a lot..and at least I won't slack so much..hehe..kk..I should stop here now..back to studies!

cheers~~

New Addiction...

This song is awesome..knew it when went to Kbox with my sis's friends..and heard Jim kor kor sang this..super nice but apparently it makes my mood worst..hahaha!!Anyway!enjoy..=)



cheers~

I have no idea what title to put for this entry..anyway..today..I am super moody..or should I say moodswing?maybe is errr post-hyper syndrome due to lack of sleep..okay..so what happened to me today was..I was pissed by the bloody Metro train..wasted at least an hour to wait for the train..haih..well..I am trying to figure out whats the reason that make me feel like this and I came out for some few reasons..here we go..

Events that make me unhappy:

-the train that keep delaying

-my epi tut groupmates..who cancel the discussion till I kind of give up on them for the presentation..they are always so irresponsible..eventhough is only 5 marks but hey..that is easy mark isn't it..I don't understand how can they just don't give a damn on that..what are these people thinking..and I am just going to do everything in case we don't have enough time to finalise everything..

-was sitting in the train..to avoid the sunlight, I chose to sit the opposite direction..looking out of the window as if I am watching my past passing through me..I don't know why I feel that way..I started to feel emo again..thinking about my future..I am scared I might not be able to reach what I want..Guess this is the main reason that brought my whole mood down..I just can't stop anyhow think when I am alone..and this feel sucks..where is my law of attraction?where are all my positive energy?please come back to me..I need you guys a lot a lot a lot..haih..

Events that brighten up my day a little:

-I finally can fully concentrate during biostat tut and I think I did pretty well for chem test..

-I finally won't feel anything or trying to escape when I listen to "Sonata no.17 in D minor Op-31, No.2 " The Tempest" 3rd movement" by Beethoven anymore..I used to skip this song when I was listening to Ipod..considering this is the song he played during the concert 2 years ago and he knows I love this a lot and trying hard to find the song in mp3 format for me which I appreciate it a lot..Anyway..this brightened up my day a little because this prove that I am over him now and I won't feel hurt anymore..
I think that's all for the "happy" event..

Anyway..I feel relieved when I finally added her back as friend..I am sorry for deleting her because of him..somehow we were best friend and I am happy that I added her bakc and explain everything to her and that's it!we are fine again..and ironically..after I added her..his MSN display picture were back to peki again..what does it mean?he still not over me yet?haha..I don't care anymore..we are officially over..he was right..I shouldn't attach to bear so much..is unhealthy and yea..I am slowly detaching myself from bear now..so yea..I am glad I used a healthier way to get through this..If the usual me..I will use alcohol to try to drunk myself eventhough I know is kind of hard..I will waste my time sleeping so that I won't feel that the time was passing super slow..I will flip through all the memories and bury myself deeper into the memories and make myself miserable but NO!I didn't this time..whenever I was upset..I listen to music..I listen to song..I on my player super loud and sing along..I will go swimming when I am free but now no more because no one can accompany me..and is scary to swim alone when the pool is in the basement! and If only if I have a keyboard or piano here..I will play my heart out..

I think I changed..sometimes I can't recognise myself..sometimes I don't know what am I doing..sometimes I feel like giving up..where is the usual me?where is my confidence?why can't I just stick to the new principle I made?I told myself never ever think of negative stuff that will disturb my life again..I failed..I told myself to put myself in the 1st priority..I failed..I told myself not to think about past again..I failed!why am I such a failure?I am damn emo now..please pull me out of this..haih...

I kind of think the blog entry I am writing now is super weird!but yea..that's how I feel now..

can't wait for summer break now..

cheerz~

discovery...

was roaming around facebook..and found out the world is really small..well..found out lots of unexpected stuff like those mutual friends of my friends and bla bla bla..as in didn't expect them to know each other but yea..and also..I found out this guy who is really talented..he composed a lot of music without lyrics and I actually got addicted and yea..I really enjoying it..okay..I think I am starting to admire him now..I also didn't expect him to be like that..but well..talented guys are always attractive..that's all I want to say..

cheers~

I had a super awesome term break..but I am kind of lazy to talk about how awesome it is..So if you really want to know..see my photos in facebook..It might not tell you everything but at least you know what I did during the holiday..muahahaha!well..wasted lots of time during term break so is time to study like mad now..less then a month..whoops!haha..anyway..this song brightened up my day..CARMEN!I change song already..no more Just The Way You Are..=p

Firefly by A Teen

When I said go I never meant away
You ought to know the freaky games we play
could you forgive and learn how to forget
hear me as I'm calling out your name

Firefly come back to me
make the night as bright as day
I'll be looking out for you
tell me that your lonely too
firefly come lead me on
follow you into the sun
that's the way it ought to be
firefly come back to me

You and me
we shared a mistery
we were so close
like honey to the bee
And if you tell me how to make you understand
I'm minor in a major kinda way

Firefly come back to me
make the night as bright as day
I'll be looking out for you
tell me that your lonely too
firefly come lead me on
follow you into the sun
that's the way it ought to be
firefly come back to me

Fly firefly through the sky
come and play with my desire
don't be long don't ask why
I can't wait another night

cheerz~~

I am not quite sure what kind of feelings I am having now.It just feel weird and I don't like it.Eversince I had addicted to "Just the way you are" I feel empty.If only if I am staying in a fairy tales.If only if fairy tales and reality are interconnected. If only if blah blah blah. Mid sem break going to end soon and I did nothing. Maybe some studies but hey that's not enough. How I wish I have a longer break and more time for me to day dreaming.Okay, I can't wait for Sunday!I am going for paintball with a bunch of guys!!I will definitely be their 1st target..muahahahahahahaha..cheers~~