hopeless..

I guess I am totally hopeless..I seriously donno what the hell is wrong with me..what do I really want?come on..you should stop keep giving..didn't really sleep well nowadays and yea..seriously can't really fall asleep with everything in my mind..I shouldn't keep holding on anymore..what am I doing?You don't have much left do you?stop torturing yourself..I wish I could..but in fact..is easy to be said then done..what did I do to deserve all this?why?why the reality is always the most hurtful one?I am stress enough but what can I do?I don't want to have this kind of feeling anymore..I want to be tough..I want to numb myself but how can I do that when I can't even go through this?not a single soul can save me other than myself..why can't I just get what I want?!I am so sick of this..really sick of this..sick of everything that I have to go through..I can't wait for everything to come to the end..how long will it last?my heart is falling apart..