Year 2011 supposed to be a new year, a new life..but I am screwing it like hell..I seriously need to get myself out of the negative force..and start to be positive again..I can't wait for uni to start..I feel like studying again..can't wait to get a new place to stay..can't wait to stay alone..I am weird..well..but for now..I don't feel like going back..but I don't feel like staying any longer either..the feeling is terrible..never expect myself to start drinking again..but yea..hang out with my primary friends..and no matter where we meet..we will somehow end up in pub..and yea..yesterday night we did again..and for once..I was the driver..after 2 bottles of beer..I am feeling super emo and start thinking all the negative things again..but on the way back..when there weren't much car on the road..I was pretty enjoying it..I enjoyed the speed of 120km/h with the radio on to the max..without having the need to worry if I will get saman or knock people down driving alone middle of the night..it is very unhealthy but I kind of love it..and yea..I think is time for me to change..no more caring so much about people because they will take you for granted..no more daydreaming and be realistic..no more telling others about how sad or how upset you are when the one you are talking to don't give a damn on you and treating you coldly..stop assuming they are you close friends who you can rely on when everything is just a lie..all we need to do is train to be best actor/actress..fake all the way..no more assuming people who are nice to you are very sweet when all they wants are advantages from you..this world is no longer that pure anymore..perhaps if I still want to survive in this world..I have to start changing..learn not to be so soft hearted anymore..not to be weak..not to trust people so easily..and yea..this is what I feel recently..but I am not sure how much I can change..

cheers~