is only the 2nd day of year 2011..I am already feeling like crap..ROAR!!I don't know what happened to me!I am feeling so lazy..thinking of leaving soon..make me having the urge to cry..I am seriously having dilemma..don't feel like going back because I want to spend my CNY with my family..but wanting to go back so much because I want to get out of the hectic life here..I am soo tired and pissed sometimes..especially when people don't appreciate whatever I did..feel like letting everything go and don't feel like care so much anymore..sort of realise no matter how close you are with that person..he/she will still never understand how you feel or what you think..which is quite sad..always hoping to find a soul mate..who can really understand how I feel but it isn't that easy..sometimes..I don't even understand myself..

told myself to give up drinking..but tonight..because my godma was having a housewarming..I took the red wine again..and it is making me worst..but usually..after I drink..I will either be very high and forget everything temporary..or cry like mad..and will be fine after crying..but tonight..I am like no where in high or emo..but a super terrible feeling..when driving my mum home..I actually feel like speeding again..but too bad..my dad was following me behind..so I can't do anything..my mum has a super low alcohol tolerance..so she basically don't know how I drive when she was in the car..she was smiling and talking nonsense which was super cute..but well..anyway..I really don't like the feeling..and I seriously hate people for not replying my sms or msn..especially when the message ends with a question..and when you asked about it..he/she will say they are very busy..yet they have the bloody time to stalk people in facebook..how many second do you need just to reply a bloody sms..arrgh!

seriously feel like shouting..or close myself in a room and keep singing nonstop..this holiday is really pushing me like mad..is worst then during studying..haih..I am feeling so sleepy..still need to wake up early tomorrow..:(

aritey..off I go..good night!

cheers~